What You Would Like to Hear From Your Doctor Parody

It's so good to read the truth at last! Would you like to hear your doctor tell you these things?

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q:Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all.. Wine is made from fruit.
Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!

Q:How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is : No Pain..Good!

Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!
.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?
HELLO
Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride' AND....

For those of you who watch what you eat , here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Eleven Effective Rules of Communication

1. Listen a lot.
2. Be specific.
3. Ask for a reasonable change that will relieve the gripe.
4. Make sure your partner understands what you want and you understand what she or he wants.
5. Deal with only ONE issue at a time.
6. ALWAYS consider compromise.
7. Never assume you know what the other is thinking. Check it out. Don't assume or predict reactions, rejections, or acceptance.
8. Accept what the other feels. Don't tell your partner what he or she should or should not be feeling.
9. Don't name call or label.
10. Sarcasm is dirty fighting - call each other on it.
11. Stay in the present. Grievances should be dealt with at the earliest possible moment. Don't save them up to use as weapons.

Great health relies on effective communication by everyone - patient, family, and health care team. Best health!

Medical TV: Where is the Health News Channel?

This was written three years ago, but is still relevant.

Medical information on TV is limited and stagnating. Sixty seconds on the news. Two minutes on the talk show after commercials on prescription medication. Outdated show on this channel, and outdated repeat on that channel in between the new show. Watch some on this channel then click and click to different channels to connect your medical news for today.

Remember the crawler at the bottom of the screen. Oh, you missed that there was a bird flu outbreak in Pakistan today, and that HPV vaccines will be required for teen women and men. These are the ways we learn about some of the most important news we should know. It concerns our health and public safety.

If only we had a dedicated medical TV CNN (instead of just Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s excellent show on early weekend mornings, or his occasional special). You know, like the sports channels by sport, the cartoon channels by age (and now one for the boomers!), the movie channels, government channels, and on and on. Where is the “MTV” of medical channels? Discovery Health has been carrying the TV health media for years. There should be more!

The TV box is probably the most used medium by which folks get their news and information. It is certainly a way to get information to people. The most used information source is one of the least used by the cutting edge medical field. This was noted in my research paper, “Building an American Health System”, in 2002. This is 2007, and it’s pretty much the same, maybe even less.

A medical TV channel (actually several would be optimal) would be great! A daily health news show would be a great start towards 24-7 medical TV. Envision yourself clicking to the heart channel, or to programs with content about specific diseases. You could learn more about that high blood pressure you are trying to control, and how you can monitor it at home. Topics on maintaining good health, and prevention of disease would be a click away. And if you missed a show, it would be shown again and again.

Health and medical coverage on TV is surely lacking in this consumer driven health conscious society. We can watch as much sports, cartoons, movies, news as we want, but we still have to piece together our medical news and supplement it with the written word, or health care providers’ spoken word. And radio.

Great health is true wealth. Medical TV would make us even richer.


by J.L. Richardson, MD, family medicine physician, patient advocate and caregiver, and author of Patient Handbook to Medical Care: Your Personal Health Guide,


http://www.mypatienthandbook.com/

www.twitter.com/MD4U

Doctor-Patient Communication Suboptimal, Part 2

When you go to see the doctor you expect compassion, kindness and time! Doctors are walking out the door while you speak. There is little time for much more. Unprofessional hurried behavior is the norm amongst many physicians, while their health care extenders - nurses, physician assistants, nurse assistants - are reported as having much more bedside manner that shows true compassion. Is it really okay to be an unprofessional professional?

Is is okay for your doctor to come in and say, "How you doing dawg?" ? Meanwhile you look around to see if you are in the veterinarian's office by mistake...without your dog. All of a sudden this middle-aged man has finally joined the hip hop now generation. A "How u doin'?" a la Wendy Williams would have been really nice.

Is eight minutes really long enough for a doctor visit? This includes only the conversation without an exam. After repeatedly interrupting you and being interrupted this decreases to three to four minutes. The doctor has just enough time to meet the objective of writing that medical note about you that you may never get to see yet it determines your destiny.

Is it okay for your doctor to admit that she is a "bad doctor" because she admits that she is not keeping a list of all the medicine samples she has given you over the years? There is no documentation in your medical records of all the current medication you are taking. "Bad doctor" by self admission raises a red flag for sure. It seems "bad medicine" is more like it.

As has been said many times, many ways...YOU are your best advocate. It is up to you to be sure that you know all the medicines you are taking and to know your complete medical history. It is up to you to be informed and educated about all of this. Waiting for your doctor may be very hazardous to your health.

by J. L. Richardson, MD family physician, patient advocate, and author of Patient Handbook to Medical Care: Your Personal Health Guide, the book that tells you how to be your best advocate from medical records to medical exams to medical tests and more.

http://www.mypatienthandbook.com/
www.twitter.com/MD4U
www.blogtalkradio.com/drjfpmd

5 Medical Money Savers

Here are five medical money savers to help you spend your health dollars wisely.

1. Keep weight stable. It is the healthy thing to do. This will save on grocery and clothing expenses. Long term savings on medical expenses.
2. Get prescription meds in bulk quantity of 100 versus thirty day supply especially if you are paying for your meds.Buy nonprescription medical items in bulk when on sale. You will be amazed at your savings when you buy a six to twelve month supply on sale. This tip is also effective for emergency preparedness.
3. Check with your state provisions for health care. Many states have low cost insurance plans available. Check what your state has to offer by contacting the state health agency.
4. Talk with your doctor by phone, fax, and email to save on the cost of an office visit payment. Just think about the number of office visits you have been to where all you did was talk (after waiting for a long while). Save your time and money.
5. For blood pressure checks, get yourself a home blood pressure monitor. Call in your readings. Many doctors will discover that your blood pressure is actually stable when the stress of the doctor's white coat is absent. For diabetics, a home glucometer is very useful for monitoring blood sugar.

Invest in your most important asset - YOU.
Great health is true wealth!

J.L. Richardson, MD, family medicine expert, is the author of the award winning, Patient Handbook to Medical Care: Your Personal Health Guide.

Patient Handbook in Your Library

Dear Librarians,

A FREE copy of Patient Handbook to Medical Care: Your Personal Health Guide will be donated to your library upon request until Labor Day.

Bend of the River Books is proud to announce that Patient Handbook to Medical Care is now in 60 libraries throughout the United States. Our goal is to ensure that everyone has free public access to read and learn the importance of health maintenance, prevention, and wellness. This expert's guide to personal health care is the ideal book "to inform and educate patients about medical care".

Thank you for all your support. It is so appreciated.

Best,
Dr. Richardson

read excerpts from Google Books http://short.to/kbv1

High Blood Pressure - Home Checks

High blood pressure, also called hypertension affects 1 in 4 adults. Do you know your numbers? do you what a normal reading is? A good normal reading is 120/80 with borderline at 130/85 to 140/90.

For more accurate measures of your blood pressure and what affects it consider home blood pressure monitoring. Buy a blood pressure monitor for home use. Wrist and arm monitors are available at Target, Walgreen's, CVS, Wal-Mart, and local medical supply stores. Shop on line by doing a search for "blood pressure monitor".

Record your blood pressure readings daily starting with morning, midday, and night. Make a note of your activity and how you are feeling. You may notice that extreme anxiety makes it go up. The correlation to your pressure will help you manage the things that make it go up. Share your results with your doctor so medication and lifestyle changes can be made if necessary.

You may find that while your blood pressure is high in the doctor's office, it may be normal in everyday activity. Remember, the doctor's result is a one time reading every one to four or more months. With normal home results, and high results at your doctor visits you may have "white coat" hypertension. There is much controversy over whether this should be treated. Check with your cardiologist.

If your blood pressure is borderline at 130/85, you want o start a low salt diet. The best is the DASH diet (http://bit.ly/hnbsL). Exercise, weight control, and stress reduction are other things to include in your treatment plan. For higher blood pressure readings over 140/90, medication may be necessary. Take your home blood pressure results in to your doctor. This will help in deciding on the best treatment for you.

Check out the American Heart Association http://hearthub.org/ for more information.

by J.L. Richardson, MD, author of the Patient Handbook to Medical Care: Your Personal Health Guide.

http://www.mypatienthandbook.com/
www.twitter.com/MD4U

Healthy, Wealthy and Wise

Prevention and wellness.
Transform America to a wellness society.
Wellness and prevention are missing...make them a centerpiece of healthcare reform.
Promote wellness and prevent disease.
Transition from sick care to a true health care system.
Preventing illness and staying well are as important as curing illness.

These are key words and phrases from Senator Tom Harkin's speech in Congress today. We are on the right path to the Healthy People 2010, the nation's health promotion and disease prevention program.

Wellness, health maintenance, prevention and early detection will make you healthier, wealthier, and wiser!

"Patient Handbook" Exhibits at Sharjah World Book Fair in UAE

"Patient Handbook to Medical Care: Your Personal Health Guide" by J. L. Richardson, M.D. (Bend of the River Books, Miami, FL), will be on exhibit at the at the Sharjah World Book Fair in the United Arab Emirates October 29th to November 7th. This Writer’s Digest International Self-Published Book Awards winner in the Reference Books category will be on display with The Combined Book Exhibit, a world leader in book shows and expos for seventy-five years. The title was recently on exhibit at the 60th Frankfurt International Book Fair, the largest book fair in the world, for the second consecutive year from October 15th to October 19th in Frankfurt, Germany.

Considered an expert’s guide to personal health care, "Patient Handbook to Medical Care" provides readers with essential information for getting the care they deserve and need. Dr. Richardson, a family medicine physician, offers an overview of health care from an insider’s perspective. This 112-page reader-friendly book covers topics such as complete physical exams, medical tests, medical specialists, preventive screening guidelines, and health coverage.